"I'd rahter die behind the wheel"
Yeah, what you say is what gets to God's ears.
My momma, Kathleen taught me that. What I know now, is not what i knew then. I went to see you because honestly, i do remember saying actually vowing that to you. I said, no matter where you go, I will find you. So, I did. And one thing that I know is, all I want from you, is for you to find me too. I did what I was supposed to do and in return, its your turn.
Every night that I sleep and I dream of you, I say to myself, I just wanna hear his voice. I recognize it in my ssoul. It's not fair. Yeah, that is right. It is not fair of me to love you when I love someone else, too. BUT. It is a fact and no matter how I try, or even dare to splain it to someone else, I cant stop thinking about or loving you. I just wanna hear your voice face to face. And if that is the spell put upon me and the suffering that I must endure, (ha ha) this is what I want from you, in return. Find me. No matter where I go, find me, talk to me, remember me, and love me. LOTS. Yeah, there still is a girly side of me. Love me lots.
My husband, Charlie does really love me LOTS. He is a good guy, too. And, I hope that you get to meet him and I hope that he is apart of our lives in every way humanly possible. Because, I do love him, the same way that I love you, too. He was and is quintessential in my, our life. He has tken good care of me. He is everything that a man should be for/to his wife. I love him for this and I always will.
BUT
and I do mean this so sincerely. He is not you.
Whose ass am I trying to kiss here? it is just the truth and nothing can change that. I am just trying to be honest here. Does all of this fall into the category, of way to much information that I just dont give a damn about?
That is what is best. I guess.
It is hard to love so many and be owned by one.

Notes from Forever by KEM